I can't believe any of it is happening to me.

Can I say I am dumbfounded? Most defiently. How could I have fallen so hard for someone completly unexpected and out of the blue. And now I am finally making progress to my dreams. I have never felt this secure to reach up and grasp my dreams by the reigns and let all my familiarities go. I have never had anyone whom I felt I could take any chances with. Is this what trust is? Is this what happens when you know without a single doubt that somebody loves you for you and only wants you to be at your happiest. It scares me to think how close I came to never meeting her. How I almost passed by the greatest thing in my life. She gives me everything. I ask and I recieve. That seems to be the reoccuring theme lately. Have I finally taken back my life? Am I finally moving forward? Can this really be what is meant for me? Do I even deserve this? Do I deserve her? Yes. Yes, I now believe that I do. I will sacrifice everything to keep her and my dreams. This is the most important thing in my life and always will be. One day I want to become great enough to support her in whatever dreams she may have. Is it alright to be a little selfish right now? To ask for her support? If she wants to marry me then I guess now is the time that we test it. I have to be sure and so does she. I cant stay here anymore. The mundane routine of it all has driven me to depression and crippled me. She crippled me. The one of my past who broke everything that I knew. Its okay because I much rather be who I am now. I would go through all of that and more over and over again just to keep Nicole. Just to have a chance with her. Her beauty is astounding and grows more and more every day. She looks at me how every girl wants to be looked at. I'm wanted. I'm needed. I'm loved. I'm happy. I'm beautiful. I'm worth something. Things I would have never said before her. Things that I tried to make myself believe but I wasnt quite there in my heart. Now I try to disprove them and instead my heart tells me I am a liar. I know I am worth it. Even when I say I'm not. I'm just stuck in the habit of hating myself. But I dont believe that. I know I'm loved because she gives me my freedom. That has always been what I need. I always knew I had the ability to support the ones I love and allow them to be as they are but I needed someone to prove to me that they can do the same. I found it. She is better than my perfect girl. She is something unimaginable. Breathtaking. How anyone sees her as anything diffrent is blind but I am thankful for their blindness because that means she appreciates my sight even more and then I actually stand a chance with her. I wonder if she thinks of me the same. I wonder if to her the sunlight looks better refelcted in my eyes. I wonder if she is awestruck just by the simplistic things about me such as the way I move when music hits my body and I can no longer control how it flows. She has seen me in my purist forms. Is it lovely? I want to be remembered as a rose. Classicly beautiful time and time again no matter what color I decide to take. Soft yet strong and dangerous if not handled with care.

Wrote this awhile ago. I have always been a fool for you.

So here I am. I'm in love again. As is the fate of those like me who love too easily. A hopeless romantic is what I am. I can't control myself. This time though is diffrent. I know I know, I say that everytime but please bear with me. I can say for sure that I have found my soul mate. Even writing that out feels cheesy and stupid but nothing else fits. She is mine and I forever hers. I have NEVER been so attracted to a girl before. I can't even look at anyone else with any intrest. Last night, she showed up to my house dressed up and boy let me tell you, I was dumbfounded. Blue button up, tight blue jeans, black combat boots, spiked braclett, shirt tucked in, hair spiked up, and the way she smelled intoxicated my senses. Classy yet punk. Perfect combo. I fumbled over my words, my fingers couldn't grasp anything correctly, my eyes lingered on her. She smirked at me knowingly. Nicole knew she looked good and she knew that I only had eyes for her. She sauntered over to me and her eyebrows raised slightly. My lips found hers. I was a fool for her as I always am. The amount of passion I feel for her is not something I am used to. I know the feeling is completly mutual. I love her. With everything I have in me and I'm so ready to make her mine forever. Yes, today is only 2 weeks but to me it feels like it's been 2 years. I'm bettering myself because she makes me want to. Everything she does is perfect.